Old but Young

 
 

Hey girls, guess what??????????????? My husband is travelling to Dubai for 3 days and I will be freeeeeeeeeeeee. I can go out with the kids to the mall, or just hang out with my friends or even we can party at home till late at night. WOW. It's not that I am doing all this behind of his back, not at all and he doesn't mind, but the problem is he is always around and I can't invite my friends over, cause we won't be free to dance or sing cause there is a man at home. As for going out, I am always free to do that, but unfortunately, I can't leave him for a long time. I never really spoke about my husband and about our story to get married. It is a long story and I will start posting it soon. But for the time being, I have to mention that my husband when I first met him, he was such an outgoing person who didn't stay at home or even if he did, it had to be with lots of friends and with all sorts of parties. Nowadays, he is a typical HOUSE-LOVING Person. He loves to go back home from work just to relax on the sofa or in bed and watch TV (either the local channels, cables, DVDs, whatever) or chat over the internet and ofcourse the most recent entertaining habbit for him nowadays is downloading movies and songs from the internet. Well, what I want to say is that he doesn't like to go out often, it is only on Fridays and unfortunately, this doesn't suit me. I am a free bird who doesn't like the cage, even it was a golden with diamonds cage (which is the case with me) as Thank God, I have a lovely home that I really like, but I also love going out alot. So, I do go out without him sometimes and he is ok with that, but as soon as I go out, I feel lonely (that is if I go out alone without the kids or without my friends). Well, now I have three full days to enjoy, so let's put up a PLAN. 

 
 

Thank God I had a peaceful and relaxing weekend. My kids finished their full homework on Thursday afternoon and I had no house work to do. I was invited for dinner one day and the other day we enjoyed all day out and had lunch. I took my daughter to her Ballet class which is in our health club. I usually take advantage of this hour to exercise while she is attending her class, but this time, I just watched her dance. It was really a nice experience for me, cause I used to take Ballet classes when I was a kid until my father stopped me when I turned into a teen-ager. Watching her dance, brought to me all the memories when I danced on that very famous stage in Egypt. I was in the front row, just like my daughter now, my teacher said that I had lovely fingers and that I was like a butterfly flying into the air, not just a girl trying to follow some steps. My daughter actually is still learning her steps, but I am really proud of her and would love to see her dance and continue to do whatever she wished to do. I don't think that I will be a strict parent like mine, hopefuly.

 
 

I had a normal day at work today, getting along just fine and I will repeat it again "just fine". I went home at 4:30 just on time to prepare lunch before my hubby arrives. He came 15 minutes after me and we had lunch all together and then my cell phone rang.  I heard the ring tone of my ex-boss, the one I liked at my previous job and the actual one who recommended me for my recent job. I answered the phone and there he was with his nice mood, but I got a feeling that he wasn't pleased. He asked me about my job and being so silly I told him the truth about my true feelings towards my new job and how I am thinking that it is just ok and I am just giving it a try and that it is extremely different from my previous work. He told me that I must think positively and that I had to thank God that I've found a job so quickly and with better salary also. He said that I was so lucky and that I have to keep the job even if I don't like it. He kept telling me that the company is going down and that maybe they will be firing more people by the end of the month or even the following month and that no one is stable. After all what I've heard from him, I thought to myself, what am I doing and how am I thinking? I really need to thank God for what I've got, it was like a miracle, getting a job right after getting terminated. I need to work harder at my new job and give it more dedication and try harder to like it. I can't stop thinking of my ex-boss and how nice he was with me and that his advice was really for my interest, he was like a father to me who really cares for his daughter. At the same time, I felt sorry for him, as he was not feeling secure about his job. I want to help him out, but don't know what to do. My hubby even tried helping him, but his company will not be hiring anybody at the time being, they are also firing people. The situation is very bad everywhere.

 
 

So, I am staying home today with my lovely daughter. I woke up early in the morning, prepared breakfast for my son, drove him to school and went back home. It was nearly 8:00 am, so I picked up the phone and called my new boss to tell him that I won't be able to come today as my daughter is sick, and he just said ok. The problem with this guy is he doesn't talk, you wouldn't really understand what he wants. Anyway, it is like a day off for me. Started tidying the house and helped my daughter with a craft that she had to prepare for school (making a flying bee). We coloured, glued, cut, and tried to make it fly, but till that extent and I stopped. She said that the teacher will put the thread and hang it on the class hanging fan and then it will fly. It was kind of fun to have extra time with my daughter alone. I know its seems nasty, but I prefer being with my daughter more than my son, anyway, he has his own life now, trying to become a teenager. 

 

Going on

01/12/2009

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Second day was also OK. I received a phone call from my dear friend "New Bride", but couldn't talk to her really, as I was sitting next to my colleague and working together on a financial statement which needs a lot of concentration. I was really glad to hear from her and I tried to call her back in the evening but I guess she was busy "being a new bride ofcourse". I can't say that I like the job, but I have to say it honestly, that the money out of it will be very good. My other colleague who recommended me for that job, advised me that even if I don't like it, at least work the three months probation and then leave if I find out that it doesn't suit me. Well, let's see, although I don't have that feeling of going to work. My last job experience made me hate work.

I went back home to find my daughter extremely sick. She was just starting a cold in the morning and I've given her a medicine for her throat and thought that she would be fine, but it seemed that she shouldn't have gone to school that day. We had lunch and hurried to her doctor, she had fever. Doctor said that she should stay at home at least for one day to rest. I called my part time maid to stay with her tomorrow, but unfortunately she said that she has work. What to do? What to do? I started asking myself on my way home. Can't take a day off from work as I have just started and that would definetely give them a bad impression about me. I couldn't think of another solution and I can't take her to one of my friends, as it would be the same as going to school, she was not supposed to go out at all. Then, after a while, I thought, what the hell? I am not really keen on work and I haven't signed a contract yet, my daughter is most important and I would STAY with her.

 
 

Today was my first day at the new job. I am really giving it a try although I wasn't yet ready. It is completely different than all my previous jobs, but no problem, I can still learn and gain more experiences in other fields. Well, first day was ok, but I have loads of reading (homework) to understand the cope of work. I have a colleague, a young girl, newly graduate, but knows the job. I sat next to her almost all day to grasp everything and I even taught her some of my skills. It was just OK. Can't really judge now, but I will definetely inform you later. Wish me good luck.

 
 

Yesterday my husband surprised me by taking the day off and staying around with me. How sweet of him. We went out shopping all morning till it was time to go home for the kids. When we reached home, I felt a little bit of a headache starting, so I jumped to take a pain killer as I know my headaches are too strong. I tried to sleep a little bit, but the part time maid rang the bell and I had to be alert with the headache that lasted from 2:30 till 10:00 pm. Yes, it was terrible and that's why I couldn't post anything yesterday.

Well, I have some news. I got the green light from this Auditing firm to work until 4 instead of 5, on the condition that I will be going one hour earlier in the morning, which is fine with me, as I already drop the kids early to their school. So, next Sunday I will pop by to see the atmosphere and the type of work and if I want to start, it will be my choice. I'll let you know of the outcome on Sunday evening Inshaa Allah.

Wish me good luck as I really need it. I hope it will be a nice place and a nice job after all I've been through with my last terrible experience.

 
 

I went to the interview. I must say that it was the easiest interview I've ever had in my life. The owner was quite a kind person  and it seemed that  he wanted to recruit someone right away and he knew everything that was going on in my previous company as they were our auditors. He was so understanding and helpful. The salary he offered was higher than I was taking and he promised that there will be yearly bonus and air tickets. There were only two small problems. One of them that I had to start right away ( which I really didn't like cause I wanted a break for myself and also my mother and sister are coming next month and I wanted to be with them, at least for one week - to go shopping and hang out). The other problem was the working hours; it was till 5:00 pm which doesn't suit my husband as he will be arriving before me. He told me that I need to think it over quickly and reply back at my earliest. I don't know what to do????????????

 
 

So today is my first day without a job. I woke up early in the morning as usual, took the kids to school, came back home, thought of sleeping. Then, my phone began ringing with my colleagues' messages telling me how much they were missing me and that my place is empty. I was so pleased of course that they care about me and that our relationship won't stop at that point. Another friend called me to tell me that there was a vacant job in a very well known Auditing Company, but actually I wasn't yet ready to be interviewed and even to work. I told her thanks but I want a break, so she convinced me just to give it a try and even tell them that I won't be able to join right away. So, I agreed on that condition and she gave my number to one of her friends. Just ten minutes later, I got a call to set an appointment with the owner of the company. Wow! It seems a good offer, but I don't have any enthusiasm. Well I agreed to go for an interview tomorrow just being curious. Then, I packed my gym bag, went directly to the gym and stayed there for three hours. I really enjoyed it this time, even more than usual, as I finished excercising, had a great massage session that kind of relieved my sorrow, went into the Sauna and the Steam room directly, then I had my shower and left. I headed to Sultan Centre, bought some grocery and went home for the kids were about to arrive from school. I have to admit that it was a lovely morning.

 
 

Losing a friend is a strange feeling

Even though I’ve lost a lot these couple of years

But not like a Friend.

A friend from childhood, who’s the same age,

It’s terrifying, it’s shocking and annoying.

I keep on thinking a lot; I keep on thinking about everything.

Thinking about her children and her poor husband,

How will they manage?

I wish I was there for them.

Having nothing to do now for them, is the worst feeling.

I keep thinking of her and remember the memories.

Memories of us when we were children playing,

then teenagers loving,

then adults marrying,

then mothers and having our kids playing together.

It’s an endless chain of memories

that I will keep on seeing while awake and in my dreams.

Words won’t ever describe my feelings towards this loss,

even though I try, but I only see her picture now and remember everything.

I remember when we wanted to go out and she used to complain about her asthma,

we didn’t really understand it at that time.

Ironically, I am suffering from asthma now and I am beginning to see the picture clearly.